How Not to Be Stupid!

Today's interesting post is taken from the Blog Life, Hope and Truth by Tom Clark. It addresses a very common problem we have - taking correction, accepting it and implementing it. Problem is - most of us are averse to it , which is stupid. My thoughts are simple: If we don't know how to stand corrected and do a course correction in our life, how can we claim to learn from Jesus? And therefore, how can we even claim to be Christians? 

Tom Clarks words ring true for every one of us so here it is: How do we course correct the Christian way: 

"We can all think back to when we were children and were corrected by our parents—and it was never enjoyable! No matter how gentle, loving and even merciful they may have been, it still stung to be corrected.

Does it get any easier to accept correction as an adult? If you can honestly answer “yes” to that question, then you are a rare individual!

Most people still find it quite distasteful to be corrected, and yet virtually everyone is corrected in one way or another throughout life. Perhaps correction comes through the words or example of a spouse, a neighbor, a boss or supervisor, a coworker, or a brother or sister in the faith. Not all of these times are deliberate, and sometimes the person giving the correction doesn’t even know he or she is doing so. But when it hits us, it stings.

At that point, we have a decision to make.

Hebrews 12:11 tells us, “Now no chastening seems to be joyful for the present, but painful; nevertheless, afterward it yields the peaceable fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.”

It stings to be corrected, but if we respond well, it will lead to good and positive results.

So, how do we respond to correction? William Barclay in his Daily Study Bible commentary brings out several possible reactions to correction, and I believe his thoughts bear consideration. I want to share his categories along with my own thoughts too.

When corrected we may . . .

Resignedly accept it. This is the stoic “stiff upper lip” type of response. No rebellious action is taken, but neither is it accepted with an open heart. The correction is seen as coming from a person in a position of power, and there is no choice but to assume a kind of defeated acceptance. Very little can be truly learned this way, and there is little if any growth.

Accept it with a grim sense of just getting it over as quickly as possible. I can’t tell you how many times I saw this reaction in my children as they were growing up. They weren’t interested in learning so much as just being done with the punishment. With this approach, there is never any gratitude for pointing out something wrong or potentially harmful, only some resentment combined perhaps with embarrassment. The result is a conspicuous lack of learning anything from the correction!

Accept it with an attitude of self-pity. I would refer to this as the Eeyore approach to life. You may remember that ever-discouraged donkey in the Winnie the Pooh stories. No matter what happened to him, it was always tragic. When another character greeted him with a cheerful “Good morning!” he would respond, “If it is a good morning, which I doubt.”

With this kind of approach to correction, all we can see is ourselves, our hurt and how we are just being beaten on again. As with the first two reactions, there is no positive growth, or even a mindset that allows for seeing the positive or the potential for learning and growth.

View correction as a punishment that is greatly resented. The basic question seems to be, “What did I ever do to deserve this?” Often this approach generates open anger and opposition to the correction. It views the correction as unjust or over-the-top or even just plain mean and vengeful. It is very difficult for a mind with this attitude to ever ask, “What does God want me to learn from this?”

Each of these four responses easily comes from a carnal and selfish mind. And none of them will bring about the results that are intended by the correction, nor will they bring peace of mind and happiness to us.

But there is another and much better option available:

To accept the correction as ultimately coming from a loving Father who only wants the best for us. To do this will require seeing God’s detailed involvement in our lives and having a living faith that He always has our best interests in mind. Even if someone spews angry emotional vomit all over us—95 percent of which isn’t even true—chances are there is a point or a lesson we can learn from the whole thing. This approach gives us the ability to see that everything can be used to make us a better and wiser son or daughter of God.

So, how do we respond to correction? It’s something to think about".

For a short study on this from the book of Proverbs, see “Taking Correction, or How Not to Be Stupid.”